im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
