I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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