All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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