Hey man sorry I got all grabby
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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