you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It's official drugs can't kill me
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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