A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Drake has all the answers
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
