Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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