I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
