and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
