ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
