Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
