Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
