Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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