He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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