I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize