Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
