The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
