It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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