We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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