i dont even know how to be here
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
