dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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