My pussy is not your playground.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
