just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
