oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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