it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
