WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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