dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
