They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
