both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
