Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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