He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
