I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
