It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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