Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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