We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
