she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
