There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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