I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
