We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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