Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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