i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
