were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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