Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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