thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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