Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
