guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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