Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Welp...herpes.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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