Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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