i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
