I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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