its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
