I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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