So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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