Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
