just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just want to make out with him forever
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
