The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
