Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
