I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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