Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
