birth control should be required to get into college
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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