perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
