don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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