the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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