the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
