Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
